For those of you expecting a post about education, mental health, or the yoots today, sorry, you get wedding.*
It is my spring break. I am so delighted to be spending it at the tailor’s every day. I have been to two different tailors for dress fittings NINE times this week. Nine times.** See, it is my own fault, because in addition to my wedding dress, I wanted a vintage 1950s cocktail dress for the rehearsal dinner. So I found this fabulous dress and thought, “I’ll just get it tailored” and it ended up being the most complicated process ever. I went to my favorite Russian tailor for my sixth fitting yesterday, and the following is an actual transcript of events that transpired:
Russian Tailor (in thick sing-songy accent): Dah-ling. I need to fix. This not right. I take out all lining and fix. Why not? It free country, riiiiigght? I fix. I was to fix yesterday, but had fever of four huuuuundred degree. You understand, dah-ling? Yes?
RB: (surprisingly patient) Yes, but I am leaving in a few days and am hoping to get this done soon. I trust you though. I want it to look right.
RT: You so calm! What do you do, dah-ling? For living?
RB: I’m a school psychologist in [names urban city that makes most recoil in fear]
RT: AHHH!! What age?
RB: Age 11-14.
RT: That worst age! They ripe. How to say? They like ripe fruit….rotten.
RB: Um, I guess they are ripe in a sense, because they are ripe for intervention at that age because they are in between kids and teens.
RT: No. They rotten. No wonder you so caaaaaalm about dress. You so caaaaalm because job so hard. Now I poke you to get reaction about dress. [Pokes me with pin] I poke you now! Ha ha ha!
RB: Um, ow.
RT: There. You have reaction!
So apparently, my job has made me somewhat unflappable when it comes to not sweating the little stuff. I guess when you are faced with true crises every day, a dress debacle is not really a crisis.
OR IS IT?
Stay tuned for Dress, Part II. Because you have no choice. It’s my blog.
*We will return to our regularly scheduled blogs about education and psychology soon, as I am a mere EIGHT days away from being in marital bliss!
**You must say it like they do in Ferris Buehler’s Day Off, when Ferris is “absent” nine times and the principal’s voice echoes, “Niiiiine Timessss.”
Congratulations on your chill.
I’d lost track of when exactly your wedding was. Happy last week of unmarried life and blessings in your marriage!
Brilliant dialogue, just brilliant! I am sure BOTH dresses will be fabulous!
Congratulations! I hope you had a wonderful wedding. Best wishes as you begin your marriage!
Just did the math…
My best wishes for a long and happy union, Rebecca!
Your affliction was perfectly normal. 🙂